none. to my greatest regret. I simply do not remember them. most of the time. I do sometimes recall shattered bits and the only impression I am left out with is that I have no control over my dreamt self and the dreamt environment. however ... there are exceptions

once, maybe twice a year I have this dream, vivid to the tiniest detail, of me flying over the most beautiful mountains, valleys and oceans (the diversity and multiplicity of landscapes is simply breathtaking!). I feel myself hoovering, the wind caressing my hair, genlte breeze skimming my skin, smell the freshness of spring morning humid air filling up my lungs and sense that unqestionable unity with the world as it is. I am just submerged completely into the bliss of the moment ... exquisite, delicious :)

when I was in highschool my greatest dream was to go to the States, it was nearly obsessive :) and I was 'haunted' by the dream of myself sitting in the plane, knowing I am going to U.S. It was so lucid I could tell all the details concerning the interiors, passangers, even the smell of the food served and the texture of the seat... I am all present and aware, cherishing the moment to the accompaniament of humming engines, filled with excitement and joy.
... the moment of waking up to reality was so sudden that usually it took me a while to pinpiont my exact location (the plane seat or bed??) but undoubtedly was highly depressing.
And guess what ... I flew to the states:) twice! just a couple of years later ... [and it was helluva achievement back then - to get accepted for 'work and travel' programme (2 exams and an interview to qualify and 1000 of applications - 100 people going), to get visa, to get the money  (it was an equivalent of my mums yearly pay!!)]

dreams do come true ... when you want something with literally every molecule of your entity (another helluva achievement :))

live your dreams!

I squat in a completely dark room with my face covered in my palms, I weep, I cry, I long, I miss ... yet I know not a reason ...

it is not dissatisfaction, not hestitation, neither pain, nor saddness, nor pity ...  it is just an inner, innate, incessant longing floating just below the surface of daily existence,  present but invisible, felt but unrecognizable. it is the question mark ? flashing instantly underneath my consciousness, pulsating with my blood, vibrating in my cells, shivering down my spine ...

it is not fear, not dread, neither hate, nor anger, nor despair ... it is just a burning, overwhelming solitude,  among your beloved, amidst six billion people ...

... but what is the question itself?

today, I got panic-stricken, without any particular reason. i shrunk into a wrenched, drained, tensed biomass of sullen despair ... my mind turning into a filmstrip of fears, threats, defeats, tragedy and horror  - a collage of hopelessness ...

... but I withstood that storm ...

... by allowing myself to sink down to the bottom, detached of the emotions exploding in me, indulged into still observation of the state. I just let it all happen, taking no action, but be.. PRESENT!

what does it mean to be present, how do you define the verb present in terms of direct experience and above all how to live here and now? …

check out an essay by R.A. Masters in which he has verbalized, blazingly clear, what has been the point of my enquiry for all those years. It is simply genius…