I love those moments when I suddenly begin to understand an idea, a question, a concept that had remained a mystery to me for a long time. And it just dawns on me when I least expect it and it all begins to be so plain and simple. Those are the moments of unique clarity and sobriety when you not only just start to comprehend it, but you embrace it till it becomes you.

God I love the smell of revelation in the morning ...

p.s.
I have been a zaadzster for just a while but my gratitude for YOU is already incessant. I found home.
thank you

I believe I could.

As long as I am able to derive satisfaction and joy of every action taken.

As long as I can improve and express myself through what I am doing.

As long as I can find it challenging.

As long as I can still create something new.

As long as I feel my presence essential.

Yes, I believe I could.

But ... I expect nothing, and am ready for everything ... I just let go and open up ...

blessings

quite recently I visited unintentionally one of many rationalist internet bastions  and got engaged in a little exchange of arguments over 'the secret'. the movie is not a question here as I have not seen it and not intend to. what actually stroke me most is that some rationalists tend to be so ardent and fierce on defending their arguments that they, in certain avenues, resemble religious fundamentalists. their God is intellect, and is worshipped absolutely. no room for a dialoge is allowed (although widely invited - in search for potential victims). hunt them (anyone who dares to question their science) down and nail to the wall with a red sign flashing 'idiot' - with a great applause and support of allies. it was a virtual lynch (although disguised in  scientific jargon). Boosted egos hard at work, musturbating over their intellectual superiority.
... I still get over-emotional over certain demeanour, tendencies of certain memes.
respect to everone

there is no such question as each can be addressed empirically. However there is no universal answer for due to semantical limitations of our language any solution is filtered by our unique system of values and experiences and the original meaning is always distorted.
therefore question everything and cognize the world empirically.

I used to think myself to be an open and sociable person. Up till yesterday. Writing an invitation for 2 amazing people turned out to be an incredibly difficult but remarkably rewarding experience. I found out that I still lack confidence and that my sense of self-worth is shaken whenever I attempt to make contact with anyone I consider soul-attractive.

I feared that I have too little to offer, that I am not worthy their attention, let alone friendship. I was completely unaware of it until that particular moment of yesterday's struggle to come up with just the right words. The right words - to my horror I found out that I literally attempted to sell myself to them as a great and amusing product - come on,  join me! I am cool!
That sudden realization shifted my attention to fears I thought I was long through with. And nothing wakes you up better then a solid shock! As I let the emotions melt, I sat down again and wrote what I felt, dropping all defenses, all guards. I allowed myself to be open, outgoing, straightforward, emphatic, thankful, to be ... just me (and that felt right ;))

And seeing positive replies in my mail box was simply overwhelming. Thank YOU guys!!!!! I am most greatful and I do owe you one ;)


I marvel how simple things such as writing a short letter to someone I don't know, can  turn out to be a major breakthrough in life ;D. It did indeed change mine ...

Respect

Malcolm X is my personal hero - for his life represents a journey from the lowest levels of the spiral to the 2-nd Tier. for he had the courage to change the world, to face it no matter the perils, no matter the consequences. for he dared to question everything, especially his own faith and beliefs. for he knew how to learn from his mistakes.
I admire his will, dedication and determination and the fact he had never given up the search for the truth.
May peace be with his soul

'it has to start somewhere, it has to start sometime
what better place than here, what better time than now?'
RATM 'Guerilla Radio'

I had never paid any attention to my body unless when being in pain. Otherwise I exploited it immensely without any remorse. Since I have absorbed the idea of integral life I do pay extensive attention to what and how I eat, drink and smoke (I smoke sometimes -once a day -  and I have read that if you must, do so but with full awareness ;))
I am trying to bring intake of intoxicants (alc and cigs) to absolute minimum, but it's quite difficult as alcohol is widely present in our culture :)

I work out and play basket ball, soccer. I meditate. I walk. I always try to be aware of every move and action taken.

I love my 'shell' and treat it with respect.
In my case discipline is the key.

there are various avenues in which your intuition guides you through complexities of self development (spiritual, personal, professional) and Boulder is one of them :D
In 1999 and the following year I took part in work&travel programme (fullfiling my dream of going to the States - God, I loved it!) and landed in Estes Park, CO working at Trail Ridge Store. Quite an unusual place for a Pole, as 95% of my fellow countrymen usually went to the East coast and I was only one of five internationals working in that region. And this is mainly how I got to Boulder :D. By the way, it is a great place and if I could I would have moved there istantly.

Couple years later, entangled in the web of misconceptions of New Age and shamanism, suffocating from their conceptual limits and my mental capacity ;) I desperately needed a change of course. Confused of what to choose, I stumbled upon Wilber's 'One taste'. And I would have put it back on shelf, fearing that it is another new-age-soap-bubble (I am sorry for my ignorance), if it hadn't been for Boulder (Ken Wilber lives there). What a revelation!!  - Wilber, Chopra, Chogyam Trungpa, Shambala Publications, Integral Institute are all related with Boulder in one way or another and all have a great impact on me! Ever since that day I am aiming at Integral and feel I am going the right way :))))

p.s.
Guess what? Zaddz is meeting in Boulder too ;)
It just dawned on me ... I am following a BOULDER PATH!!!!!!!!!!
Greetings to all in Boulder, CO and the rest of the world ;)

anger is the most difficult to cope with as it is loaded with intensity. it just explodes on a spark, often too unexpectedly, allowing only a sec or two to react. And the key is to be aware of that emotion and refrain from acting upon it. do not supress it as it will ruthlessly come back within the depths of unconsciuosness. observe it in stillness till it melts down. it takes grit and discipline but it works for me. and do not trust me on it, try it, explore it, experiment with relaxation techniques and see for yourself.

life is an incessant change. I am a change. There is nothing in me that needs not change.

but currently I need to change my financial situation, fast!! :D

respect

I have become ZAADZ member!!!!

I am delighted to be a part of such a great community, zealous and courageous to explore the nature of life and live it to the fullest. It has been a wonderful month!

may you all find enlightment in your everyday lives

... (writing letters is a great practice!!)

Transforming negative vibes into a positive drive is like turning water into wine, in the sense that it is equally spectacular, equally difficult ;), but possible. I struggle financially and it does depress me sporadically. However quite recently I have learnt to deal with it. I consider depression a signal, form of alert, that I have lost momentum, that I have slumpped and instead of hard work I am eluding myself with just mere effort in order to deaden(?) my sense of quilt. I do not get depressed anymore and tend to thank the world for the moments of doubt without which I would have never made a single step forward on my way called LIFE.

p.s.
thanks Derek ;)

nothing ... everything invented contributed immensly (and still is) to our development, to our advancement in every aspect of our lives.

every creation facilitates another. every invention changes our cognitive capacity of the world.

(without war no one would ever comprehend the idea of peace ... without poverty no one would ever enjoy and appreciate wealth).

everything happened purposefully.